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Old July 12th, 2009, 10:59 PM   #21
OoohYahhh Male
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Default Re: Psychological abuse at work (otherwise known as workplace bullying)

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NEVER...EVER... take a job you are not willing to walk away from.
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Its not abot the economy, its about empowerment. You are empowered as long as you are willing to walk away...the moment you become dependent...psychologically, not ecomomicly...on your job, they have the power...had you rather be a secure slave or a free and independent individual?
When I first started my working life my father said to me, "The only right you have is the right to quit". At the time this was litterally true. Fortunately, through govenment "interference", our employers no longer have the right to poison, maim, and abuse us as employees. Given the opportunity I'm sure a surprising number of employers would return to it. They need to be actively held to their obligations.

Quitting a job is the nuclear option that we all have to consider. I've found it to be immensely satisfying and, as you suggest, liberating. And it is an excellent idea to keep current resumes on file at places you might find interesting.

A job is something that we assume ownership of. It becomes our home. As a part of our homeground, there is a time to drag up and pull out, and there is a time to stand and fight. Wisdom is about being able to see the possibilities of both.

As you explore organizational dynamics and discover it's complxity and nuances, a range of empowering possibilities opens up before you. Actions, positions, alliances, motivations, ... Empowering possibilities that allow you to fulfill your physical, intellectual, and social needs within the context of an otherwise average organization.

With what I know of Sillykitty's situation, I stand by my earlier advice;

Stay calm. Be patient. Be prepared. You can take them.


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Old July 12th, 2009, 11:16 PM   #22
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Default Re: Psychological abuse at work (otherwise known as workplace bullying)

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I'd rather suck it up while I have to in order to feed my kids and keep a roof over their head and clothes on their ungrateful little backs. That is also empowering.

Diane
Make sure a Slave woman has kids (preferably yours) it keeps her locked into place like horse with a bit in their mouth then you as a master can do more things to her because few womenfolk would leave their children for freedom.
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My life as a Slave.
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Old July 12th, 2009, 11:34 PM   #23
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Default Re: Psychological abuse at work (otherwise known as workplace bullying)

Fortunately most of us are past that.

Think you can keep up?
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Old July 13th, 2009, 07:29 AM   #24
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Default Re: Psychological abuse at work (otherwise known as workplace bullying)

One of the most liberating things we ever did was get out of debt. It wasn't easy, but it made our lives so much better. No longer did we have to weigh every decision based on whether we could make the mortgage, whether we could make the car payment, etc. We didn't have the latest of everything anymore, but we had our freedom.

After we sold our first house, we went through a period of about a year and a half without any employment. We just did what we wanted to do. It wasn't all vacation, we volunteered, worked hard, got dirty, really got to spend time together and get to know each other well. It changed our marriage, changed our family dynamics.

I realize that most people feel trapped in their hated jobs because of financial reasons. But if there is any way you can get yourself free of your debt, do it. Do whatever it takes, cut corners, give up luxuries, make sacrifices. When you pay off your debt you are finally your own again, and a HUGE weight is lifted off your shoulders.

Then you can start making decisions based on what you want, what you enjoy, what's right for you, not what's going to get the mortgage paid.
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Old July 13th, 2009, 10:02 AM   #25
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Default Re: Psychological abuse at work (otherwise known as workplace bullying)

The problem with quitting is that there is nowhere else to go, unless I want to leave the community I am in now. I am in medical diagnostic imaging at the moment, and there is one full-time position in the only hospital right here. I can walk to work.

Plus it is a state job, and has excellent benefits, a pension, and a union to represent employees (who I've already spoken to, and will step in once I get the ball rolling)The next closest place is about 20 minutes away, and its a department with people in your face all the time, and I have heard the politics over there are not good.

Even if there were lots of jobs for me here, I am not the kind of person to just quit and run away, That would be letting them think they are right about me, and that the false slander is all true. I intend to prove them totally wrong, and make them beg on their knees for my forgiveness.

Running away would be almost worse than what I'm going through now. I'm just glad I finally realized, or discovered, that this thing is a real phenomenon that I can actually do something about, if I plan carefully and execute that plan in the right way.
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Old July 13th, 2009, 10:07 PM   #26
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Default Re: Psychological abuse at work (otherwise known as workplace bullying)

SillyKitty, I hope you don't think that I was advising you to quit your job. Nothing could be further from the truth. If your job fulfills you and brings you joy, then by all means stand up and fight for it. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness, and it aggravates me to hear stories of bullying. I can't stand a bully, and think that you should do what it takes to put a stop to this behavior.

However, no matter how fulfilling, convenient, economically rewarding or beneficial a job is, it is still an appendage of you. You are not the appendage of the job. If you belong to it then your freedom is gone. As long as you are willing, if necessary, to leave a job behind you to keep your freedom, then you are free. It is a mindset more than a pattern of behavior.

Sweetie, I hope you get this all settled to your satisfaction. I hope that you find justice and relief. But please don't fall into the trap of letting someone dictate your life and your worth to you just because they have a position of authority. You are a fascinating, amazing person worthy of dignity, compassion and truth. You are singularly miraculous, and have untold potential. That is who you are, not a medical diagnostic imagery tech, or whatever the job description is. You are you, an unique and unrepeated miracle.
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Old July 14th, 2009, 06:15 AM   #27
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Default Re: Psychological abuse at work (otherwise known as workplace bullying)

I was not advising, you quit either, just be prepared to if it becomes necessary...the key is to convice your superiors that you will leave if if the situation is not rectified. Further, make youself as indespensible as possible...give your threat teeth.
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Old July 14th, 2009, 06:54 AM   #28
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Default Re: Psychological abuse at work (otherwise known as workplace bullying)

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I was not advising, you quit either, just be prepared to if it becomes necessary...the key is to convice your superiors that you will leave if if the situation is not rectified. Further, make youself as indespensible as possible...give your threat teeth.
Well, you know that strategy may backfire. Once upon a time I worked for this fairly large company. I was their employ of the year three years in a row. Then I had my first child. My boss and supervisor had a thing against women with children... a real personal problem. From that time on she did whatever she could to make my life intolerable. When I confronted the situation, trying to get things back on a better track, she wouldn't back down, but actually increased the misery and made things so that I couldn't meet her demands. She'd set up situation where I had conflicts that couldn't be resolved, where she set it up that no matter if I fulfilled one thing it meant I had to fail another. I ended up leaving and they replaced me with FIVE people to do all that I did.

Did they win, no they didn't. But when it comes to those who hold the power, you have to be careful. Not everyone is reasonable or rational and there isn't always an answer where everyone wins.

As it turns out this was one of the best things that could have happened to me because it forced me become very resourceful, and I learned a lot about my capabilities. So, I am grateful I confronted it, even though I didn't get the outcome I wanted.

Sometimes the universe just has a way of giving you what you need no matter what you want.

Diane
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