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Old June 9th, 2008, 05:42 AM   #1
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Default Married Guys Looking to Help Life at Home

Myself: Mid-40’s, athletic, married for 20+ years.

This post is actually a combination of posts I have made in the Introductions section. It is designed for married guys looking to use the pheromone products here to help things at home.

I use pheromones for several purposes - work, social and to enhance life at home.

I use multiple approaches especially for home:

First - at this point in our lives we know sexual attraction is not the final answer. So my first recommendation is actually what we call the social products. Instant Honesty is my personal favorite. Good communications are key in any relationship and we also know women equate good communications to caring to emotional closeness to emotional intimacy which can lead to physical intimacy. If you have your doubts, read EnchantedApril’s comments in this thread. IH in particular will help this as the beta nols both facilitate deep conversation and create a feeling of emotional closeness. Instant Shine will help her feel happy to be around you. IO helps generate general conversation if you need that from time to time. IFM can help her relax at the end of a bad day, during that time of month or enough to discuss anything a little sensitive. But my favorite is IH.

Then, during the evenings or on weekends, I use Ammo when I am around the wife. It is a balanced product but it has enough 'none in it to remind her I am very interested. You can always add in any of the socials or MXes to fine tune the mix and the effects …

Next, on special occassions, date nights, or at the end of the evening I will throw in some TUTH to create a spark or fan a spark into ...

Finally, during the day for work I use A314 usually combined with IH . (It also works well with Instant Shine .) I mention this because not only is it great for work but one of the ladies (Phernoob) here in the forum said she got some for her husband for work but the alpha vibe it gave him also created a "spark" at home that certainly helped things in the romance arena in this thread. I alternate the A314 with Instant Gentleman. It gives you a cool/smooth vibe but it also seems to have a funny secondary effect: if you are young it makes you seem a little older. If you are older it makes you seem a little younger. Basically whatever they wearer seems to interpret as cooler/better age-wise - that is the impression they get of you.

There is one more thing to be aware of: sometimes long-term spouses who know our phero-signature well do not always react well to a change in our phero-signature. Reactions can range from the funny like the wife who jumped/fell out of bed when her husband came to bed wearing 2-3 sprays of TUTH for the first time, to mild irritation (my and a couple other users' moms) to slight puzzlement and suspicion (my wife and Tisha's huband).

At first I did not tell my wife that I was using pheromones. When I first started using them she would look at me funny - she could tell something was different but could not put her finger on it. (Tisha said her husband reacted the same but then got used to it after a couple weeks.) Often when women sense a major change in their spouse the first thing they think is ... another woman. I could tell by her reactions and a couple comments that she thought ... maybe ... so I was very purposeful to ensure her I had eyes for only her: flowers for no special reason, date nights, etc. Now in some cases the reaction may be more like irritation, but mostly I have heard that coming from someone's mom (like mine or LaurieNY's).

She did notice the bottles but I keep them with my colognes and just acted as if they were colognes. At a certain point she did ask what they were. I told her and framed it in terms of aromatherapy designed to improve our relationship. Which is true. And that went over quite well. She probably still thinks its one of those crazy things I do but knowing I am doing it on behalf of our relationship so that is OK. Remember the flowers and "date night" things above.

Last edited by bosshank; June 10th, 2008 at 03:30 AM.
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Old June 9th, 2008, 10:36 AM   #2
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Default Re: Married Guys Looking to Help Life at Home

I agree totaly.

The bottles are a little problem. But after a few orders most of you will have 2-4 Togo Bottles. I removed the label and wrote "Hugo Boss" or "Cool Water" on them. I went to perfumery and collected a few free samples of the products i wrote on the togo bottels. Then i refilled the most importend Home Use Products to the togo bottles...

I first drop 1-3 drops of the Sample to the togo bottle.
In a 5ml togo bottle its more or less just for the scent.

(Hugo Boss) Instant Honesty 4x
(Aqua di Gio) Instant Female Magic
(Irish Tweed) Turn Up The Heat
(Unsomethingiddontremember) P83
(Cool Water) MX203

I would suggest to take unscented versions with double Strength so you can mix it with cologne samles 1:1
I didn´t ... now everything smells like neroli with xxx. But my wife doesn´t recognice the difference between cool water and Aqua di Gio after 20 mins on my skin, so i don´t care.

i have to copy that in my journal...


Back to topic.
I had/have an issue with my wife here too. 4 years married, 2 children good and healthy relationship but almost no sex life.
It´s a good relationship, becourse we don´t argue, we often talk, we love each other and we are a perfect team. It´s just that one point missing.

I did very much the same a bosshank and at first i thought my wife is completly immune to Pheromones. She behaved normal whatever i tried.
We discussed our problem, what was very importent. Then we checked everything what could probably lower her libido.

1. She stopped takeing hormone based contraceptives. She was talking depo.
2. We are planning more time together without kids.
3. I started with Pheromones. But i realised that this takes time soon. And that Pheromones are just a little helper.

The first real successful hit was with Ammo at first and adding Turn Up The Heat when going to bed after a romantic evening.
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Last edited by Denied; June 9th, 2008 at 10:55 AM. Reason: forgot something
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Old June 9th, 2008, 11:56 PM   #3
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Default Re: Married Guys Looking to Help Life at Home

Quote:
Originally Posted by Denied View Post
We discussed our problem, what was very importent.
Good communication is THE key to any long term relationship. Please repeat until memorized.

That is why I started the product list with the social products - to improve/increase communication as this is absoulutely critical to avoid any problems and to solve any problems that may exist.

I cannot over-emphasize that for women communication is the same as caring and emotional closeness or intimacy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Denied View Post
1. She stopped takeing hormone based contraceptives. She was talking depo.
This is a biggie along with a lot of anti-depressents. Also there was an article I read - not sure if it is posted in the Abstracts and Studies portions but I think it is - that dealt with the fact that contraceptives work by tricking woman's body into thinking it is already pregnant so she does not ovulate. The authors noted that the sense of smell of pregnant women often "changes" - ie what smells good or bad - or is often hightened. Their study (very small numbers) suggested that women on contraceptives had their sense of smell change radically enough that their man who smelled naturally "right or sexy" did not smell that way anymore. Likewise women who were on the "pill" when they met their SO stated he did not smell "right" anymore once they went off the "pill". Interesting but again VERY small numbers in the study.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Denied View Post
12. We are planning more time together without kids.
Cannot over-emphaisze this one too much either. You two need time to reconnect as a couple. Date nights - even if it is just to go out for a coffee and to do some shopping without the kids - are a must.

Also - it can be hard on women given the many roles they have to fulfill: good wholesome mom, romantic lover, etc.. Sometimes it is hard to emotionally be both or reconcile both roles. Some women also feel that they are having to meet so many needs in so many directions - like they are constantly "in demand" and getting sucked dry energy-wise.

Guys often can compartmentalize their lives better than women so shifting from good worker to good dad to good lover can be easier. Then you have to consider that after a couple kids in a short time she may be flat out tired (in a reproductive as well as daily sense) and worried about getting pregnant again. Preganancy, birth and early child-rearing are not easy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Denied View Post
3. I started with Pheromones. But i realised that this takes time. Pheromones are just a little helper..
Yes - relationships take time and even with the pheromones they will always be 90% you and 10% pheromones.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Denied View Post
The first real successful hit was with Ammo at first and adding Turn Up The Heat when going to bed after a romantic evening.
But the real success came after the prep work - communication, time together in a romantic evening - then she was emotionally ready and responsive to you and the pheromone message.

Last edited by bosshank; June 10th, 2008 at 01:48 AM.
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Old June 10th, 2008, 12:12 AM   #4
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Default Re: Married Guys Looking to Help Life at Home

Quote:
Originally Posted by bosshank View Post
This is a biggie along with a lot of anti-depressents. Also there was an article I read - not sure if it is posted in the Abstracts and Studeis portions but I think it is - that dealt with the fact that contraceptives work by tricking woman's body into thinking it is already pregnant so she does not ovulate. The authors noted that the sense of smell of pregnant women often "changes" - ie what smells good or bad - or is often ehightened. Their study (very small numbers) suggested that women on contraceptives had their sense of smell change radically enough that their man who smelled naturally "right or sexy" did not smell that way anymore. Likewise women who were on the "pill" when they met their So stated he did not smell "right" anymore once they went off the "pill". Interesting but again VERY small numbers in the study.
This is because a lot of the Contraceptive Hormones are the same hormones produced during pregnancy, (typically in just enough doses to prevent pregnancy.


Just because you are both sleeping in the same bed does not mean automatic sex, you still have to do the little things to make her happy, before you make it to bed.
Help with the dishes, leave the toilet seat down, take out the trash or other tasks you can do without being told.
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Old June 10th, 2008, 09:18 PM   #5
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Default Re: Married Guys Looking to Help Life at Home

Quote:
Originally Posted by woofie2 View Post
This is because a lot of the Contraceptive Hormones are the same hormones produced during pregnancy,
Right - that is how they trick the body into thinking it is already pregnant so no ovulation occurs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by woofie2 View Post
Just because you are both sleeping in the same bed does not mean automatic sex, you still have to do the little things to make her happy, before you make it to bed.
Right - romancing her begins LOOOOONG before you hit the sheets.

Quote:
Originally Posted by woofie2 View Post
Help with the dishes, leave the toilet seat down, take out the trash or other tasks you can do without being told.
Another great point. You are a team - operate as one. Be proactive. And the proactive part works well in every aspect of life. Do what needs to be done without having to be told.
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Old June 17th, 2008, 02:24 PM   #6
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Default Re: Married Guys Looking to Help Life at Home

I'm new to this forum and Androtics, but have some experience of these things from my single days(!). This is an extremely valuable thread, not just to those married guys, but of course to those guys in or trying to forge long term relationships.

This is my first post so let me begin by saying that the points made above are great.

It seems to me:
- Everybody likes to be made to feel special, perhaps be being with someone they perceive as being special
- Longterm relationships and routine can make you forget how to have fun so an 'ice' forms over the couple

Although you might feel very familiar with someone like a spouse, you might not feel as comfortable as you might expect if things have been difficult recently, even after a few years. You also might not perceive them or be perceived as being particularly special - 'familiarity breeds...'

I added all this up and chose Instant Openness over the ubiquitous Instant Shine .

Within the hour wifey et moi were upstairs and we weren't tiling the bathroom.

(btw - She didn't really like the smell, but looked for it on me when she left for work this morning, saying she felt good and thought I was wearing it!)

It seems to me that if there's a natural chemistry there, a bit of relaxation and fun will more effectively do the job of a -none. I've ordered some, of course, for scientific purposes, as the sexlife has previously been AWOL for 9 months, but I don't expect to use it much. Knowing my wife, to her the smell will be acute. I'm also going to try Instant Female Magic for the obvious reasons.

My initial impressions are that it's easy to try and create a full suite of pheromones when really what one needs is to complement what is already there?

I also conclude that IS makes me a bit high and I love it. Couldn't sleep at all last night though...???
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Old June 18th, 2008, 05:58 AM   #7
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Default Re: Married Guys Looking to Help Life at Home

Quote:
Originally Posted by mac View Post
This is an extremely valuable thread, not just to those married guys, but of course to those guys in or trying to forge long term relationships.
Glad you like it and find it helpful. That was the whole reason for starting it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mac View Post
This is my first post so let me begin by saying that the points made above are great.
Thank you again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mac View Post
I added all this up and chose Instant Openness over the ubiquitous Instant Shine. Within the hour wifey et moi were upstairs and we weren't tiling the bathroom.
Good for the both of you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mac View Post
(btw - She didn't really like the smell, but looked for it on me when she left for work this morning, saying she felt good and thought I was wearing it!)
My wife picked up on the scent too at first but she has not said anything for a while. So I guess she has gotten used to it. I also found it helped if she did not a whiff of it for the first 10 minutes or so after application until it dried down and the scent died down some.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mac View Post
It seems to me that if there's a natural chemistry there, a bit of relaxation and fun will more effectively do the job of a -none.
Correct - the ladies stress that in their posts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mac View Post
I've ordered some, of course, for scientific purposes,
Of course - that is my purpose too ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by mac View Post
as the sexlife has previously been AWOL for 9 months,
Ouch - but at least that does not seem to be a problem any more cowboy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mac View Post
but I don't expect to use it much. Knowing my wife, to her the smell will be acute.
Again - let it dry down some before exposing it to her. My wife has a sensitive nose too but this is the strategy - other than her getting used to it - that has worked well for me. It has what I call a spicy cologne scent. Not really bad at all but noticeable at first.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mac View Post
I'm also going to try Instant Female Magic for the obvious reasons.
Great product.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mac View Post
My initial impressions are that it's easy to try and create a full suite of pheromones when really what one needs is to complement what is already there?
That is a very sensible approach. Many of us have tried that but all this fun can be addicting.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mac View Post
I also conclude that IS makes me a bit high and I love it. Couldn't sleep at all last night though...???
Some users have reported that at first but it seems to pass quickly.
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Old June 21st, 2008, 11:30 AM   #8
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Default Re: Married Guys Looking to Help Life at Home

Hi folks - are those of us shackled in wedded bliss convinced that pheromones really make a great deal of difference?

I think they have an effect, but only in specific areas. As pheromones are simply a means of subliminal communication, in most situations for most of the day, communication and understanding between two people in a LTR are so established already that pheromones are insignificant?

In other areas where subliminal communication methods are of heightened importance, i.e. where mood becomes more of a factor then pheromones seem to do their stuff.

I can only really testify to pheromones being of use in two situations within the context of being married and being with my wife:

- specifically in the bar when we were physically close, not restaurant seated across a table, where Instant Openness and IS gives a fun time
- in bed where A314 and IO gave a real 'edge'

I'm not getting any interest from the -nones, specifically Ammo and Turn Up The Heat . I wonder whether even in my advanced years I'm still pumping these out naturally.

I'm sorry to say Instant Female Magic is a complete washout.

The scents are really getting in the way. After 7 years we've both found scents that we individually like on ourselves and on each other and they're a world apart from Neroli . Insofar as i can, I'm going to have to get the unscented and mix up with my own aftershave.

I reiterate what I said before about complementing ourselves rather than trying to create something from scratch. Personally -stenol alpha complements me well and a bit of A314 doesn't help, TAA is fun for everyone, but the -nones......

Thoughts?
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Old June 21st, 2008, 02:32 PM   #9
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Default Re: Married Guys Looking to Help Life at Home

IFM is good here. First, i don´t smell neroli ... it is somethin light critus scented i think. Ans it works here pretty good. Ok we don´t need more comfort aft er 10 years (4 years married) but it it is a cool thing to have while she has her days. And it is cool when she is upset or angry becourse i forgot to do something or else. Then it calms her down, to a level where i can talk out and everbody is still happy. Relaxed.

...i think i should go shopping now...
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Old June 21st, 2008, 03:03 PM   #10
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Default Re: Married Guys Looking to Help Life at Home

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Originally Posted by Denied View Post
Instant Female Magic is good here. First, i don´t smell neroli ... it is somethin light critus scented i think. Ans it works here pretty good. Ok we don´t need more comfort aft er 10 years (4 years married) but it it is a cool thing to have while she has her days. And it is cool when she is upset or angry becourse i forgot to do something or else. Then it calms her down, to a level where i can talk out and everbody is still happy. Relaxed.

...i think i should go shopping now...
Excellent - I like to read posts like that.

As regards IFM , I've tried it alone, tried it layered, tried it weak and tried it strong. I've masked it, I've left it alone. I've just been told I smell like an old people's home. I've got to laugh. I've got to bath!

Cheers,

m,
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